Welcome to America, circa now.
We talk about others living in the Dark Ages, so why do we act like it's Ancient Greece or Sparta? (Yes, there are over 50 teams in America called "The Spartans.") Nevermind the Olympics, if you don't get with the program, accepting all the NFL/NBA hype as gospel...well, you're an infidel. Aren't you. (Yes, it's okay to admit your addiction. It's a first step to recovery. Not just yours, but the country and the planet.) Begin by calling your obsession for what it is: not a mere addiction, (like for junk food, steroids, or cheerleaders), but an actual RELIGION. And a radical one, to boot. Stop blindly believing (due to decades of indoctrination) that the meaning of life is watching men propel various air-filled bladders toward nonsensical "goals." Just Do It. Other things in life DO MATTER, and so here is a book you need: a laughsphemous (albeit blasphemous) 2 1/2 hour comedy album (audiobook) titled THE UMPIRE HAS NO CLOTHES: Diary of a Sports Atheist. You will laugh. Or you may cry. But you will know that the medicine went down easier than if you'd been awakened by calls to prayer...and then lectured by the Supreme High Commissioner of Wiffleball. Or Roger Goodell. Proof that it's funny is that it is narrated by a producer from ESPN, Barry Abrams. And he's a true believer! (Although my alter-egomaniac has hope for his exorcism, still.) ---Walter Witty (aka Jonathan Lowe)
NOTE: The audiobook has just been published at Audible.com. It is either $6.95 or free, depending on whether you're a true believer in audiobooks or an infidel worthy of eye strain hell.